A selection of poems from the project “addict, addict, failsafe bravery” appear in the fifty-first issue of Touch the Donkey.
Q: Tell me about the manuscript “addict, addict, failsafe bravery.”
A: This book came about as social commentary, lived experience, and family history. Just as society is ravaged by addiction, so it has been in my family for generations. I have witnessed the destruction, chaos, and dysfunction caused by addiction. In the middle of writing the book I lost a family member to an overdose. I felt that I needed to acknowledge the damage done by the disease as well as express gratitude for my own ability to live a clean and sober life.
Q: How does this work compare to some of the other work you’ve been doing?
A: This work is similar to other projects of mine in that I had the title and I just started writing anything that came to mind under that topic. I did not really control it except to always think about the concept of addiction when I was writing. In other work my topics have been more broad and general, and I don’t really have to be mindful of a specific concept, so I guess this project was more directed.
As always with difficult subjects in my writing, I tend toward abstractions because direct narration is often too painful. In this case, however, the poems in “addict addict” were much more concrete because I was attempting to convey a specific message.
Q: Did you find a difference in the writing from this more directed or concrete, as you say, approach?
A: I guess I would have to say that this project was less enjoyable than my usual writing. It felt more like a task than just writing for fun and seeing what comes of it. It felt like a burden sometimes that just had to be done. Thinking of editing the ms. also feels like a burden because it is very rough and often felt like spewing language.
Q: Was the process of working through such difficult material one of seeking to document, or clarification? What were you hoping to accomplish through such a project?
A: I think I was trying to acknowledge the harm done on every level, and at the same time, convey empathy and sorrow for the addict/myself. I also needed to recognize my strength—to be able to endure growing up amidst addiction— as well as to grieve what I missed out on, and the weight I was forced to carry as a result of this disease. Now that I think about it though, most of my work carries an overriding grief and longing, I just don’t always state specifically the cause.
Q: With a handful of published books under your belt, as well as this current work-in-progress, how do you feel your work has progressed? Where do you see your work heading?
A: Progressed… I’m not sure…. But I am working on a few memoirs which are a shift away from how I write poetry… it feels like complete drudgery but a task that needs to be done. Hopefully I can finish and publish those sometime in the near future and also publish several other poetry manuscripts that are completed.
Q: What brought you to memoir from poetry? What do you feel is possible in either form—whether memoir or poetry—that might not be possible otherwise?
A: I have been working on the memoir for about 20 years. I felt like I needed to narrate my family story to both share the entertaining aspects and acknowledge the trauma that occurred. My poetry is consistently this story but abstracted. The memoir form requires me to actually tell the story of what happened.
Q: Finally, who do you read to reenergize your own work? What particular works can’t you help but return to?
A: Rilke’s Book of Hours and Linda Gregg’s All of it singing.
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